Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
