@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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