i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
