end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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