Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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