Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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