Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
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She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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