He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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