does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize