oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
