Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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