Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
its liver damage thursday
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
