I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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