Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
