I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
