Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
