I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
