I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
