awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
