We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
