Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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