I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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