i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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