dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
