just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
