North Korea, Best Korea!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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