im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is Oprah even human
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
