i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
