i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize