know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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