Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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