We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
