FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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