You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize