And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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