also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
