you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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