You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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