i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
