If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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