Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
