Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize