Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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