so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
