Umm I'm too high to move.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
