Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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