I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
