they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
