ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize