Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
