hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
