flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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