I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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