If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
