I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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