so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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