I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
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