We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
